I don't remember any of the beginning or middle, just the end. It was Sunday afternoon, and basically Mom came up to me and a group of people and was like "Sorry I'm late guys, I went to the tattoo parlor after church and got this new tattoo I've been wanting." She lifts her shirt sleeve and reveals this ridiculously enormous Chinese dragon thing that starts at her wrist and wraps all the way up to her back. There are stars filling in the open spots...and she's like, "Oh yeah it cost $1100 but at least they got it done in 2 hours!" And I was just like, good lord....then I told Alan who happened to be there, and he was like "Oh yeah I got a couple new tattoos also" and I was like "Ooh I'm jealous what did you get?" and he was like "Oh me and my wife's names on my chest." And I was like "......wait your who?" and he said "My wife" and I said "your WIFE?" and I looked at his hand and indeed he was wearing a wedding ring. So I said "You're MARRIED??" and he said "Oh yeah I saw her ice skating the other day, and she was so beautiful so I asked her to skate some more and then we decided to get married."
WTF.
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